The Unexpected Journey That Changed Everything
I remember it well. My daughter was a teen and getting through a mental health crisis that we didn’t know would shape our lives in ways that no one would expect. On her path to mental wellness, we learned some helpful things, as well as things that didn’t help, which always reminded us how difficult this journey was going to be.
The One Thing That Always Helped: The Drive
What was the one steadfast thing that always helped? Going for a drive. I honestly can’t even remember how we discovered it or what even prompted us to start taking drives. But over time, these drives would evolve. And the therapeutic results were incredible! Not just for her, but for me too!
A little backstory to keep a long story short, my daughter was only 13 years old when she told us she needed help. Her struggles were too big to handle on her own, and led her to some dark and difficult mental spaces. It took time and many different paths, but we were able to get her the support she needed. She learned various strategies, tools, and ways to manage her emotions and thoughts. But no matter how many things one can learn, you sometimes just can’t regulate it all.
The Early Days: Ice Cream, Short Trips, and Animal Spotting
At first, when we started taking these drives, we would go for a short drive. Maybe just a half hour. Maybe get an ice cream. But the more drives we took, the longer they became. We discovered how fun it was to see different animals on our drives, and that became a focal point for us, as my daughter shares my love for animals. On a side note, we also discovered watching shows on Animal Planet was a great way to help her regulate, too!
So while we were driving, we kept a lookout for animals, which wasn’t hard since we lived in a rural community. We would see mini donkeys, mini ponies, wild turkey, longhorn cattle, swans, pigs, goats, an abandoned kitty, lots of cows, and even a beaver! The great thing, as I’m reflecting now, is that these animals each had stories to go with them from our drives.
Mini Donkeys, Wild Turkeys & Chipmunk Alley
I became infatuated with the mini donkeys. I even threatened to stop and get out at the one farm to ask if I could pet them. We never did. Don’t they say to live with no regrets? We definitely should have petted the donkeys! As we continued to expand the time and distance of our drives, we discovered another place that often had mini donkeys as well. The funny thing is how we would get upset whenever the donkeys weren’t out when we went by. We relied on them for our little slice of joy!
One day, on one of our many travels, we came across this completely random wild turkey. It came out of nowhere and started running across the road in the most awkward, silly way, and we both began laughing so hard! It became a point of conversation so many times on our drives as we would reminisce – remember that time when the wild turkey came out and ran across the road? Always followed by a few giggles when we mentioned it.
We also had a stretch of road we named Chipmunk Alley. In the fall, there would be tons of little chipmunks scrambling to and fro across the road. A bunch of busybodies without a clue that we were navigating our way carefully to avoid derailing their lofty goals for the day.
Bridge Kitty: The Furry Mystery We’ll Never Forget
Further down this same stretch of road was a bridge. One day, as we drove up to the bridge, we saw a kitty. We parked our car and got out to see what was going on. The kitten was clearly alone and not well kept. As my daughter tried to approach it, it was a bit shy and would come close, then turn away. We noticed someone had left a can of cat food along with a small cardboard box. The can of cat food was empty. We got back in the car and wondered what the story was behind the abandoned kitten. It bothered my daughter that the cat was alone, and she talked to her dad about it. We decided to go back and check it out again and discussed taking it to the Humane Society, although secretly, I think she wanted to keep it for herself!
We named the kitten Bridge Kitty, and over the course of a week, we visited it almost daily, gradually coaxing it closer each time in hopes of eventually catching it. We even tried to lure it with a chicken nugget, but it was to no avail. Then, all of a sudden, one day, when we went again, Bridge Kitty was gone. Vanished. We went back a few times afterward, and it wasn’t there, leaving us always to wonder what happened to our mysterious furry friend.
Of Cows, Longhorns, and Quiet Swans
During our drives, the cows lined the landscape, and we would come across so many varieties that we began seeking them out purposefully by location and type. We loved the hill cows, a herd that always climbed up and down a hill to reach a stream for a cool drink. The longhorn cattle were magnificent to see, with their immensely massive horns making them appear threatening to anyone who approached. But then there were also friendly cows that would come up to my daughter when she got out of the car and walked to the fence, hoping for a gentle nose rub and some tall grass. And of course, the baby cows. So cute, fluffy, and always with their mamas.
One of the most serene moments on our drives was when we passed through swamps with a quiet lake. The lake was covered with swans, scattered across the water like tiny white sailboats. We could hear their calls—it was such a beautiful sound. Calming, peaceful, and a majestic sight to see and hear so many at once. We would learn from others stopping by that the swans would make an annual stop there during their migration. It was one of our favorite moments from our drives.
Conversations, Clarity, and Connection
The best part of it all for me was spending time with my daughter. We would have some amazingly therapeutic conversations. But there would also be some light chit-chat as we got to know what thoughts were stuck in her head, and shared what was on both of our minds. Our thoughts would meld together in conversations that would bind us even closer together as we learned how to respect each other while understanding who we were and what we needed at the time to keep on going. Clearing our thoughts and our minds with each other led to clarity and closeness, something I hadn’t anticipated but now cherish.
And sometimes, we just needed silence, without conversation. Quiet time to focus on what was outside the window and empty all the thoughts in our heads. Sometimes music would also come into play on our road trips. She would pop in her earbuds, and I would wonder what she was thinking about and listening to. Sometimes we would play her music and listen to it together. And other times, I would play my music while she listened to hers in her earbuds, and we would both feed the part of our souls that music could heal. Music became part of therapy, too.
Mapping Memories Through Every Direction
Our drives would turn into little mini-trips that we decided to take. Which direction today? East? Okay, we’ll take the trip over by the mini-donkeys and down the road through the towering, beautiful trees that form an arch over the road. West? Sure! Let’s go and see the brown cows that always have their babies with them. Every direction had its own special trip and favorite things to see. Need a break and want to be adventurous? We would go down a totally different road and see where it would lead us. Exploring the unknown became one of our favorites while we discovered new sights to see.
I could go on and on, but as you can see, it’s bringing back so many fond memories and making me feel warm and fuzzy, filled with joy all over again just like it did when we took the drives. We would return home with joy in our hearts, a mind cleared from some of the dark or anxious thoughts, and a new memory to keep.
What a Drive Can Do for You
What could a drive do for you? I think this all answers that question loud and clear. It’s an opportunity to fill your heart, mend your soul, and clear your mind. I challenge you to try it. Don’t even have a goal in mind at first when you go. Just hit the road. Take your favorite playlist. Go alone. Take your furry friend. Take a loved one. Whatever you need. Maybe that will even change over time. But just try it. You’ll find your favorite places, take your favorite roads, make some memories, and hopefully arrive home feeling better than when you left.
Where I live, it’s springtime right now. Everything is in bloom, which makes for a beautiful drive. Immerse yourself in the beautiful nature around you, and give your soul a chance to bloom too.
Go grab the keys and RISE!
